All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
