Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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