I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
