Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
