Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
