i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Randomize
