definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
