youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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