Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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