So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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