Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
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