Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Randomize
