So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
I got her a Nickelback box set.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
