You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Randomize