but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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