i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
