the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize
