I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Randomize
