small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
