i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
