I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Randomize
