The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Randomize
