you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
so let's talk penis.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Randomize
