There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
