I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Randomize
