She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
