Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Randomize
