I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Randomize
