he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
