She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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