Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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