i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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