Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Randomize
