Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
You need a sexual gate keeper
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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