took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
I wish I only lived at night.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
