You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
