Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
