real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
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