I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Randomize
