Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Why can't burritos get me drunk
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
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