i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Randomize
