he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
