I just pynch a tree in the face
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Randomize
