standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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