Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Randomize
