OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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