He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
