they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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