i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Randomize
