Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
