Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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